LISTEN’
When I ask you to listen to me And you start giving me advice, You have not done what I asked.
When I ask you to listen to me
And you begin to tell me ‘why’ I shouldn’t feel that way, You are trampling on my feelings.
When I ask you to listen to me
And you feel you have to do something to solve my problems,
You have failed me, strange as that may seem.
Listen! All I ask is that you listen; Not talk, nor do – just hear me.
And I can do for myself – I’m not helpless
Maybe discouraged and faltering, but not helpless.
When you do something for me, that I can and need to do for myself,
You contribute to my fear and weakness.
But when you accept as a simple fact that I do feel what I feel, No matter how irrational
Then I quit trying to convince you
And can get about the business of understanding what’s behind this irrational feeling.
When that’s clear,
The answers are obvious and I don’t need advice. Irrational feelings make sense when we Understand what’s behind them.
Perhaps that’s why prayer works sometimes for some people; because God is mute, and doesn’t give advice to try to ‘fix’ things
He/She just listens, and lets you work it out for yourself.
So please listen, and just hear me, and if you want to talk,
Wait a minute for your turn,
And I’ll listen to you.
Anon
This poem was written by a mental health consumer who was institutionalised over a number of years in Queensland. He wishes to remain anonymous.
Also one of the first handouts I ever had on my counselling course many many years ago. Fundamental for all good therapists to remember.
