5 reasons to stay with your PA partner – for better or worse

5 reasons to stay with your PA partner – for better or worse

For better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and in health.  How seriously do you take your marriage vows?  At what point would you say “enough is enough” and walk away.  There is a time in life when you have to seriously consider what you are doing and why you are doing it. You have probably spent many years going through the same repetitive cycles with your partner.  Good times, beautiful times and happy times followed by dark days, confusion, misery and abuse.  The thought of leaving has crossed your mind many times, yet you are still there. Here…

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5 tips for self-preservation if you are in a toxic relationship

5 tips for self-preservation if you are in a toxic relationship

Self-preservation is vital when you feel you are drowning in someone else’s toxicity.  Here are 5 tips to help you stay sane: 1  The Art of non-reaction From the profound wisdom of Ashtavakra: Be an observer of what is happening inside yourself to find freedom from the pain of outside influences.  There is no moral value attached to this and it does not mean you are afraid to act.  Have awareness of yourself only and do NOT derive your value from the actions of others.  This applies to positive actions  as well as negative ones.  Be YOURSELF.  Do not depend on…

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What is the most emotionally painful behaviour of a PA?

What is the most emotionally painful behaviour of a PA?

It is emotionally painful when you are a partner of a passive aggressive.  They are angry at you and the way they show it can be very hurtful.  You have upset them in some way and you probably know where it started.  It is also likely to be an occasion when you opened up emotionally and they couldn’t handle it.  Passive aggressives find it very hard to get into their own emotions, let alone yours. Some of the responses you have probably experienced are avoiding discussions, pretending they can’t hear you or going out and not saying where.  All of these responses…

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How to reveal the power games in passive aggression

How to reveal the power games in passive aggression

The power games of passive aggressive relationships can sometimes make you forget the past.  Your partner has managed to get you back on side and you are in an almost blissful state of happiness.  Your relationship is back on track.  They cannot do enough for you and you want to believe it will last.  However, something inside you doesn’t allow you to relax.  It’s an intuitive voice based on past experiences and it will not go away.  It feels like your partner holds the power and YOUR behaviour might just change things.  What are the power games being played? Manipulation In general…

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passive aggressive behaviour – is it intentional?

passive aggressive behaviour – is it intentional?

I was recently asked this question by a reader: “I read your article about passive aggressive behavior and I wanted to know if this behavior is something that a person can turn on and off like a light switch or is it part of who they are? If a guy was like this with one girl is it likely he will be the same way with another girl or is he only passive aggressive with girls who push his buttons?” Someone who is passive aggressive can for sure turn the behaviour on (like a light switch) when their buttons are…

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7 ways to recognise passive aggressive behaviour

7 ways to recognise passive aggressive behaviour

The term passive aggressive is widely used these days.  I overheard a conversation the other day in a restaurant when a customer accused the waitress of being passive aggressive because she didn’t smile and the food order was wrong.  Sure, PA behaviour can happen in all sorts of settings but when it happens between two people in a relationship it can be devastating. So how do you recognise the signs.  Below are 7 behaviours significant to the psychological pattern of PA behaviour. Fear of confrontation with your partner One moment everything appears fine but then you decide after some consideration that you…

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What its like living with a passive aggressive partner – you will be surprised

What its like living with a passive aggressive partner – you will be surprised

When you are living with a passive aggressive partner you will not often hear the word “Sorry”.  PAs find it very difficult to ever be wrong and if you dare to suggest it YOU will be sorry. Jean and Bill were having financial difficulties.  Jean had been working day and night to make ends meet for the family. She was a good mum, always there for her 3 children and husband, giving her best.  Bill also worked hard but not putting in the same effort and only doing what he wanted to do when it suited him.  Neither had a holiday in years.  Jean then finds…

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10 signs you are living with a narcissist?

10 signs you are living with a narcissist?

It can take a long time to work this one out but one day the penny will drop.  Here are 10 signs to look out for that might indicate your partner’s behaviour is determined by far more than plain selfish actions: 1  Do you feel isolated and unloved in your relationship despite your partner saying the words “of course I love you”.  Narcissist people are emotionally detached and find it hard to relate on a deep level about thoughts and feelings. 2  Is there space for your voice and opinions in the relationship or do you find that only happens when…

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A tale of passive aggressive behaviour: Criticism or Feedback

A tale of passive aggressive behaviour:  Criticism or Feedback

    So you are in a passive aggressive relationship.  There is something you want to tell your partner but a little voice tells you that he won’t take it well. Here’s the situation:  He likes to talk a lot and in fact he is quite an amusing storyteller. When in company he holds the floor and keeps dinner parties going with his amusing tales.  However, he doesn’t know when to stop talking.   Silences that might give another person an opportunity to talk are quickly filled by yet another of his stories.  You are aware that when others speak…

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What is Passive Aggressive Behaviour?

What is Passive Aggressive Behaviour?

Passive aggressive behaviour takes many forms but can generally be described as a non-verbal aggression that manifests in negative behaviour. It is where you are angry with someone but do not or cannot tell them. Instead of communicating honestly when you feel upset, annoyed, irritated or disappointed you may instead bottle the feelings up, shut off verbally, give angry looks, make obvious changes in behaviour, be obstructive, sulky or put up a stone wall. It may also involve indirectly resisting requests from others by evading or creating confusion around the issue. Not going along with things. It can either be…

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