passive aggressive behaviour – is it intentional?

passive aggressive behaviour – is it intentional?

I was recently asked this question by a reader: “I read your article about passive aggressive behavior and I wanted to know if this behavior is something that a person can turn on and off like a light switch or is it part of who they are? If a guy was like this with one girl is it likely he will be the same way with another girl or is he only passive aggressive with girls who push his buttons?” Someone who is passive aggressive can for sure turn the behaviour on (like a light switch) when their buttons are…

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10 signs you are living with a narcissist?

10 signs you are living with a narcissist?

It can take a long time to work this one out but one day the penny will drop.  Here are 10 signs to look out for that might indicate your partner’s behaviour is determined by far more than plain selfish actions: 1  Do you feel isolated and unloved in your relationship despite your partner saying the words “of course I love you”.  Narcissist people are emotionally detached and find it hard to relate on a deep level about thoughts and feelings. 2  Is there space for your voice and opinions in the relationship or do you find that only happens when…

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What is Passive Aggressive Behaviour?

What is Passive Aggressive Behaviour?

Passive aggressive behaviour takes many forms but can generally be described as a non-verbal aggression that manifests in negative behaviour. It is where you are angry with someone but do not or cannot tell them. Instead of communicating honestly when you feel upset, annoyed, irritated or disappointed you may instead bottle the feelings up, shut off verbally, give angry looks, make obvious changes in behaviour, be obstructive, sulky or put up a stone wall. It may also involve indirectly resisting requests from others by evading or creating confusion around the issue. Not going along with things. It can either be…

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Envy in the Workplace

Envy in the Workplace

Are you being thwarted from doing your job?  Are you aware of little comments here and there that start you doubting yourself?   Or perhaps there are disruptions to your workflow caused by the unnecessary interference of another.  Do you get that feeling that someone else wants to be you. You are quite probably the target of envy, a most difficult destructive emotion that is hard to fight and even harder to prove. Envious people target those that are successful, bright, popular and have good relationships with others at work and socially. They covet your clients, your sales, your possessions…

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How do you know when a relationship has past its sell-by date?

How do you know when a relationship has past its sell-by date?

Take the shopping:  When the price is right, the food might still go in the trolley on and beyond the sell-buy date.   Use-by dates are also not necessarily adhered to.   The food may be a bit manky round the edges but the taste isn’t too bad, certainly not enough to throw away.  It is only when there is more concern of greater harm than good do we throw away. So how can we use the same guide for our relationships. In the beginning it all looks good, feels good and tastes good.  The attraction is there, nice packaging,…

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Is it ok to be a people pleaser?

Is it ok to be a people pleaser?

I was recently talking to a friend about her relationship with her husband.  She said she knows how to keep him sweet.  She praises him (even when she’s angry).  She doesn’t ask him to help her in the house because she knows that upsets him.  When he does things that she does not agree with she keeps her mouth shut.  She does not want to rock the boat by  upsetting him.  I asked her why?  What stops her from being honest and this is what she told me. “I want a quiet life.   I let things go because I…

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Divorce is never easy – 10 assertiveness tips to help you both

Divorce is never easy – 10 assertiveness tips to help you both

Going through a divorce or separation can be very difficult and challenging for most people. The following TEN TIPS will help you to remain assertive and behave in a way that is effective, respectful and beneficial to yourself and others: 1. Express your opinions and feelings in a clear way.  Ask the other person what they think and feel too. 2. Be clear about what you want whilst considering the needs of the other party.  This includes stating your position and priorities and listening to the other persons position and priorities. Put yourself in their shoes! 3. Take your Time…

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