passive aggressive behaviour and emotional abuse – 3 things to know

passive aggressive behaviour and emotional abuse – 3 things to know

Being in a PA relationship will feel SO emotionally abusive at times that you may consider leaving your partner. Below are three specific behaviours used as PA responses which affect the way you view yourself and your sense of reality.  These destructive behaviours eat away at who you are and what you know to be true.  You can end up in a haze of disbelief, mistrust and confusion.  Your head is a tangle of mixed up emotions and it is hard to think straight. Blame Passive aggressive people have deep rooted insecurity which affects their ability to take responsibility for their actions.   We all…

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What its like living with a passive aggressive partner – you will be surprised

What its like living with a passive aggressive partner – you will be surprised

When you are living with a passive aggressive partner you will not often hear the word “Sorry”.  PAs find it very difficult to ever be wrong and if you dare to suggest it YOU will be sorry. Jean and Bill were having financial difficulties.  Jean had been working day and night to make ends meet for the family. She was a good mum, always there for her 3 children and husband, giving her best.  Bill also worked hard but not putting in the same effort and only doing what he wanted to do when it suited him.  Neither had a holiday in years.  Jean then finds…

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What does it mean to feel flawed?

What does it mean to feel flawed?

To feel flawed is to think and believe that there is something fundamentally wrong with you, your looks, your behaviour, your personality, even at the deepest core level of your soul.  It is probably something that you have felt for a very long time, perhaps since childhood and it could have come about for a variety of reasons. Feeling flawed causes people to feel self-conscious, self-critical and shame.  When we give ourselves negative messages about who we are we are giving ourselves the greatest dis-service.  It can affect so many areas of people’s lives, relationships, work, self-motivations, beliefs, achievements and…

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Forgiveness: How do you forgive someone that has hurt you?

Forgiveness: How do you forgive someone that has hurt you?

How do I forgive?  How do I let go?  These questions are often asked to me in the therapy room.   When someone you love hurts you in some way it is very hard to come to terms with.  It is easier to let go when that person is not so close, such as a work colleague or an acquaintance.   We can take the view that we don’t really need them in our life or even like them that much.  Its easier to see them as a negative person or difficult to get along with.  For example a work place…

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5 reasons not to argue by text

5 reasons not to argue by text

How many times do you have arguments by text.  I was talking to a colleague the other day who refuses to engage in this kind of conflict.  As she so rightly pointed out, once something is in writing there’s no taking it back. In arguments we might say things we would not normally say, hurtful things or attacking comments.  We sometimes blame others when things go wrong before we have had a chance to think things through.  Then the arguments start, you said, he said and she said.  Feelings can explode in an unhelpful way. Now I’m not saying it isn’t…

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How do you know when a relationship has past its sell-by date?

How do you know when a relationship has past its sell-by date?

Take the shopping:  When the price is right, the food might still go in the trolley on and beyond the sell-buy date.   Use-by dates are also not necessarily adhered to.   The food may be a bit manky round the edges but the taste isn’t too bad, certainly not enough to throw away.  It is only when there is more concern of greater harm than good do we throw away. So how can we use the same guide for our relationships. In the beginning it all looks good, feels good and tastes good.  The attraction is there, nice packaging,…

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What is passive aggressive Behaviour?

What is passive aggressive Behaviour?

Put simply passive aggressive behaviour can be described as a silent form of aggression. It is where you are angry with someone but do not or cannot tell them. It may involve, shutting off verbally, it may involve angry looks, obvious changes in behaviour, being obstructive, sulky or stonewalling. It is characterized by an indirect resistance to the demands of others and an avoidance of direct confrontation, as in procrastinating, evading, pouting, or deliberately creating confusion. A passive aggressive individual doesn’t always exhibit outward anger or appear malicious. At first glance, the behaviour might appears unassuming, gracious and benevolent; underneath…

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