Andrea Harrn Counselling Services

What are personal boundaries and why are they important?

personal boundaries

personal boundaries

Personal boundaries, you’ve heard about them but what are they?  A boundary is a dividing line, a border, a partition that separates one person from another.  From a psychological perspective it can apply to emotions, physical space, material space, mental awareness, sexuality and spirituality.

This post is going to focus on the emotional aspect of boundaries.  In particular the personal energetic boundaries that are needed when people are feeling vulnerable, abused, walked over, talked over and generally weakened by the presence of another human being. That other someone is often the closest in terms of a partner, parent, friend or boss.

Energy Fields

Lets first take the idea that we are made up of energy.  Think about when you have met a person for the first time and they exude an aura of peace and calm, radiating positivity, charm and charisma.  Now think about the time you walked into a room and immediately felt negativity, stress and high tension coming from another person.  Who would you rather stand next to?  If you pick up too strongly on other people’s energy it might be that you are sensitive and empathic.  If this is the case you are a prime candidate for understanding personal boundaries.

Why do I need to put boundaries in place?

Being kind, caring and empathic can often be exhausting when you are with certain people that draw and drain your energy.  Lets call them energy vampires – they don’t have fangs but they  suck you dry.  Helpers, healers and light workers are particularly vulnerable and need to be very careful about who and how they expose themselves to others.  People that have issues with codependency, pleasing other and losing their sense of identity need strong boundaries.

When another person invades your personal space with their toxicity it can leave wounds within that continue to hurt you.

What boundaries do I need

This really depends on you, your life and what is going on. If we think about a boundary as a protection, think about who or what has hurt you in the past and how you don’t want that to happen again.  Your boundary can be a verbalised communication or an energetic defence, like a bubble around yourself or a defence shield surrounding you.

How do I put boundaries in place?

Boundaries need to come from your determination to not let others affect you.  Its about protecting your wellbeing rather than punishing others.  Setting effective boundaries involves clear communication to others about what is and what is not acceptable.  If there is a consequence to an action then stick to it.  Mean what you say. Saying No to others means saying Yes to yourself.  This will be a challenge to people in your life but there has to come a time when you love and respect yourself enough to say “NO MORE”

To put energetic boundaries in place its a good idea to use visualisations, a guided meditation tape or work with an energy healer to help you.  You will be building your energetic field, raising your positive energy and placing a seal of protection into and around your auric field.  This does not shut you off from others but keeps you safe. Visualise a bubble around yourself where nothing can hurt you.

In a future blog I will give more information on this but for now.

Stay Strong and Stay boundaried.

If you are in a passive aggressive relationship you will definitely need to be putting your boundaries in place.  Find out more about this: Am I in a passive aggressive relationship

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