What does it mean to feel flawed?

I-don’t-know-a-perfect-person.-I-only-know-flawed-people-who-are-still-worth-loving.-John-GreenTo feel flawed is to think and believe that there is something fundamentally wrong with you, your looks, your behaviour, your personality, even at the deepest core level of your soul.  It is probably something that you have felt for a very long time, perhaps since childhood and it could have come about for a variety of reasons.

Feeling flawed causes people to feel self-conscious, self-critical and shame.  When we give ourselves negative messages about who we are we are giving ourselves the greatest dis-service.  It can affect so many areas of people’s lives, relationships, work, self-motivations, beliefs, achievements and fulfilling potential.

Some reasons people feel flawed might be:

  • not being valued as a child
  • being given the message from an early age that they were not wanted, an accident
  • Being blamed/scapegoated for problems in the  family such as illness or conflict
  • Feeling abandoned by a parent through divorce of separation
  • being the child of addicted parents
  • Emotional or physical neglect
  • Dominant and controlling parenting whereby the child feels they do not have a voice
  • Feeling powerless to stop family dysfunction such as violence, bullying, abuse
  • Being constantly criticised

It is a sad thing when a child grows up to believe they are flawed but unfortunately this is what often happens.  We take on the messages of our primary caregivers as universal truths!  As adults we can thankfully challenge that.

We all born perfect little human beings, we are a joy to this earth, we are a gift to the world.   When we can look back in an objective way it is possible to see ourselves as innocent children.  We can then learn to love ourselves for who we are.

To learn more about your feelings take a look at The Mood Cards and especially the hurt and shame cards

 

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