self-esteem Archives - Andrea Harrn Counselling Services

7 things you can’t ignore: passive aggressive relationships

By Andrea Harrn December 7, 2016 communication, passive aggressive, relationships, self-esteem 2 Comments

Relationships that are passive aggressive are difficult to manoeuvre. Here are 7 important things to know and by the way the PA is probably having just as bad a time as you are. 1 Understand why its happening People that are passive aggressive find it incredibly hard to talk about their emotions. Rather than owning up to their feelings they behave in such a way that it is hard to confront them about what is really going on. 2 What the silent treatment is saying When the PA feels emotionally vulnerable they shut down, hide and withdraw. The…

Is there a link between dependency, codependency and passive aggressive?

By Andrea Harrn November 30, 2016 codependency, dependency, passive aggressive, relationships, self-esteem No Comments

By understanding dependency and codependency you can begin to make sense of why some people stay in passive aggressive relationships. Dependency In healthy relationships there will be a mutual inter- dependency between couples. You rely on each other emotionally, economically and morally in terms of family and expectations. Where relationships involve too much one sided dependence and not enough personal responsibility codependency can often be found. Codependency is a learned behaviour that can be passed down from generation to generation. It is an emotional and behavioural condition that affects an individual’s ability to have a healthy, mutually satisfying relationship. Also known as relationship addiction…

Envy in the Workplace

By Andrea Harrn July 22, 2014 aggressive, bullying, confidence, envy, passive aggressive, self-esteem No Comments

Are you being thwarted from doing your job? Are you aware of little comments here and there that start you doubting yourself? Or perhaps there are disruptions to your workflow caused by the unnecessary interference of another. Do you get that feeling that someone else wants to be you. You are quite probably the target of envy, a most difficult destructive emotion that is hard to fight and even harder to prove. Envious people target those that are successful, bright, popular and have good relationships with others at work and socially. They covet your clients, your sales, your possessions…

Psychology of Sales – tapping into emotional needs

By Andrea Harrn March 20, 2014 behavioural, business success, confidence, focusing on goals, Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, psychology of sales, self-esteem, successful people 1 Comment

Here are 10 top tips for attracting sales using psychology and linking to Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. Physiological needs: 1 People need to know that wherever you work there are basic facilities, toilets, water, comfortable place to sit. Tell them about your premises Safety and security: 2 Be clear about who you are and what you do. Give a strong clear message in your advertising, when you speak to others, when you talk about your product. I do this….for your health It will help build that family home…. It can also help you to improve your…

5 reasons not to argue by text

By Andrea Harrn January 23, 2014 abuse, anger, Anxiety, conflict, conflict resolution, hurt, self-esteem No Comments

How many times do you have arguments by text. I was talking to a colleague the other day who refuses to engage in this kind of conflict. As she so rightly pointed out, once something is in writing there’s no taking it back. In arguments we might say things we would not normally say, hurtful things or attacking comments. We sometimes blame others when things go wrong before we have had a chance to think things through. Then the arguments start, you said, he said and she said. Feelings can explode in an unhelpful way. Now I’m not saying it isn’t…

How to talk to your children about divorce

By Andrea Harrn May 19, 2013 access to children, assertiveness, betrayal, broken heart, communication, conflict resolution, divorce, family demands, focusing on goals, relationships, self-esteem, stress over breakup No Comments

Can you imagine being a child in the middle of a divorce. It is a confusing and upsetting time for all concerned and as caring parents the more you can do to help your kids through this difficult time the better. No two people go into marriage with the expectation that it won’t last and of course where children are concerned this is doubly upsetting. Even if you were the one that chose to divorce it is still a difficult decision to make. When a marriage breaks down its all too easy to apportion blame. In reality with two of…

Confused.com

By Andrea Harrn November 26, 2012 abuse, communication, disappointment, self-esteem No Comments

Are you feeling confused? Do you have tangled thoughts, mind racing, mixed messages and bad communications. When communication is unclear this can result in confusion. How many times have your listened to instructions and half way through them got lost in language. People have different ways of expressing themselves. Some get to the point very quickly whilst others talk around the houses and waffle a bit. Others just don’t bother to give time or eye contact. Sounding familiar? To avoid confusion think about the following: Make your own communication crystal clear and if appropriate follow up by an email…

Feeling alone?

By Andrea Harrn November 20, 2012 depression, gaunts house, loneliness, self-esteem 2 Comments

A report out today has found a quarter of Londoners say they feel lonely some or all of the time. I guess there are times when we might say that we have felt alone with no-one to talk to or share our thoughts with. Two types of loneliness can be identified: social loneliness and emotional loneliness. With so many people using London as a transient base these days people don’t always have the time to get to know others and form social friendships. Emotional loneliness occurs when people feel alone with their problems which can happen even when part…

Feeling helpless in the face of redundancy

By Andrea Harrn November 6, 2012 assertiveness, helpless, insecurity at work, redundant, restructuring, self-esteem, shock No Comments

Recently I have heard of so many people losing their jobs because of a company restructure. Being called in and told that the company is going through changes and one of those is that your job is now redundant. Surprise!! Maybe not. Perhaps you have seen this coming. Other people in other departments have gone. The company is now a third of the size it was two years ago. Secret meetings appear to be happening all around you and that smarmy new guy that arrived 3 months ago is looking even smarmier. It doesn’t seem to make sense…

Love hurts

By Andrea Harrn October 4, 2012 bereavement, betrayal, broken heart, cheat, grief, heartache, hurt, loss, pain, painful love, rejection, self-esteem, two-timing 2 Comments

When love hurts there is no pain like it. We all feel hurt from time to time, choked up , tearful and sometimes confused. People let us down, surprise us with their actions and or inactions and disappoint. When this happens to us it is a warning that something is not right, our relationship, work situation or friendship. Honest communication with the other person is always a good step. Try and find out what happened, is there something you are not aware of. Try to get to the bottom of it so you can understand. If other people’s behaviour towards…

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