marriage problems Archives - Andrea Harrn Counselling Services

Brexit – shall I divorce him?

By Andrea Harrn June 22, 2016 divorce, marriage problems, separation No Comments

Brexit is a breaking apart, a splitting up of a relationship which has been together for over 40 years. Like any long term relationship there have been ups and downs, periods of unhappiness and discontent, arguments and conflict. Separation is no easy matter NOR is staying together. The reasons we got together in the first place have been forgotten over the mists of time. Now I feel quite differently towards you and your ever extending family. In fact it feels like I’ve lost control of most of the household decisions and the finances. All my requests seem to be unheard or I have…

My Head is a Shed

By Andrea Harrn November 6, 2014 confusion, divorce, guilt, Head is a shed, marriage problems, relationships, responsibility No Comments

My head is a shed full of old and new It needs cleaning out – I need a better view It’s hard to get rid of the rusty and old Things that are familiar keep out the cold The shed is too full – yet not full enough A lifetime of memories, possession and stuff Things that have meaning, but limited use Just stay right with me – I can’t turn them loose The shed is shaky, it needs some repair A positive flower, a breath of fresh air It’s hot and stifling and making me choke I…

How do you know when a relationship has past its sell-by date?

By Andrea Harrn September 16, 2013 abuse, access to children, aggression, anger, broken heart, bullying, divorce, family tensions, heartache, hurt, intimacy, loss, love, marriage problems, pride, Relationship Counselling, relationships, stress over breakup, which direction to go 1 Comment

Take the shopping: When the price is right, the food might still go in the trolley on and beyond the sell-buy date. Use-by dates are also not necessarily adhered to. The food may be a bit manky round the edges but the taste isn’t too bad, certainly not enough to throw away. It is only when there is more concern of greater harm than good do we throw away. So how can we use the same guide for our relationships. In the beginning it all looks good, feels good and tastes good. The attraction is there, nice packaging,…

Is it ok to be a people pleaser?

By Andrea Harrn July 4, 2013 acceptance, aggressive, anger, assertiveness, bullying, communication, confidence, conflict resolution, divorce, family demands, forgiveness, frustration, inaction, indecision, making changes, manipulation, marriage problems, people pleaser, relationships 2 Comments

I was recently talking to a friend about her relationship with her husband. She said she knows how to keep him sweet. She praises him (even when she’s angry). She doesn’t ask him to help her in the house because she knows that upsets him. When he does things that she does not agree with she keeps her mouth shut. She does not want to rock the boat by upsetting him. I asked her why? What stops her from being honest and this is what she told me. “I want a quiet life. I let things go because I…

Divorce is never easy – 10 assertiveness tips to help you both

By Andrea Harrn April 23, 2013 access to children, assertiveness, bullying, divorce, financial settlements, marriage problems, separation No Comments

Going through a divorce or separation can be very difficult and challenging for most people. The following TEN TIPS will help you to remain assertive and behave in a way that is effective, respectful and beneficial to yourself and others: 1. Express your opinions and feelings in a clear way. Ask the other person what they think and feel too. 2. Be clear about what you want whilst considering the needs of the other party. This includes stating your position and priorities and listening to the other persons position and priorities. Put yourself in their shoes! 3. Take your Time…