5 reasons to stay with your PA partner – for better or worse

5 reasons to stay with your PA partner – for better or worse

For better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and in health.  How seriously do you take your marriage vows?  At what point would you say “enough is enough” and walk away.  There is a time in life when you have to seriously consider what you are doing and why you are doing it. You have probably spent many years going through the same repetitive cycles with your partner.  Good times, beautiful times and happy times followed by dark days, confusion, misery and abuse.  The thought of leaving has crossed your mind many times, yet you are still there. Here…

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Brexit – shall I divorce him?

Brexit – shall I divorce him?

Brexit is a breaking apart, a splitting up of a relationship which has been together for over 40 years.  Like any long term relationship there have been ups and downs, periods of unhappiness and discontent, arguments and conflict.  Separation is no easy matter NOR is staying together.  The reasons we got together in the first place have been forgotten over the mists of time.  Now I feel quite differently towards you and your ever extending family.  In fact it feels like I’ve lost control of most of the household decisions and the finances.  All my requests seem to be unheard or I have…

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The A-E guide to divorce – UK style

The A-E guide to divorce – UK style

Getting divorced is not as easy as some people think. You have to show that your marriage has broken down irretrievably. That breakdown must be based on one of five “facts” And there are lots of rules.. There is the one year rule. You must wait for at least 1 year from the date of your marriage before you can apply to the court for a divorce. There is also the 6 month rule. You must separate within 6 months of the date of any adultery or the date of any unreasonable behaviour you have put down on your divorce…

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What is Conscious Uncoupling?

What is Conscious Uncoupling?

Is there an easier way to divorce, separate or breakup.  I am often asked when the pain will go, how long it takes to feel better and when life will feel normal again.  There are no simple answers to these questions because every person is different and every story/situation too.   Break ups are usually traumatic and difficult for all parties involved and there is no magic pill to take the pain away or quicken the process. The idea of conscious uncoupling has been around since the 70’s when Dr. Habib Sadeghi & Dr. Sherry Sami theorised that the problem is…

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My Head is a Shed

My Head is a Shed

My head is a shed full of old and new It needs cleaning out – I need a better view It’s hard to get rid of the rusty and old Things that are familiar keep out the cold   The shed is too full – yet not full enough A lifetime of memories, possession and stuff Things that have meaning, but limited use Just stay right with me – I can’t turn them loose   The shed is shaky, it needs some repair A positive flower, a breath of fresh air It’s hot and stifling and making me choke I…

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Betrayal and Humiliation

Betrayal and Humiliation

There is nothing more painful than finding out that your partner has cheated on you.  The person that you have spent the last few years with has betrayed you in some way.  That same person that you have loved, cherished, cared for, supported, had children with has let you down. Despite your intuition, finding text messages or hearing rumours,  you are being told that nothing has happened and it is in your mind.  The other party involved is apparently just a friend, a work colleague or a complete stranger. Next thing your partner tells you they are leaving you to find themselves…

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Its hard to think straight when going through a divorce or separation

Its hard to think straight when going through a divorce or separation

Breakups are confusing and upsetting – FACT! Difficult for both parties – FACT! How can you be clear in your thinking when your emotions are topsy turvy?  How do you get your point across in a clear and concise way? How can you make sure your needs are met and those of your children too? I’m offering a free training seminar covering these points on Thursday 14th November at 11.30am at the offices of Mullis and Peake solicitors in Romford Essex. Please come along and join a group of other people going through a similar situation and looking to be…

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How do you know when a relationship has past its sell-by date?

How do you know when a relationship has past its sell-by date?

Take the shopping:  When the price is right, the food might still go in the trolley on and beyond the sell-buy date.   Use-by dates are also not necessarily adhered to.   The food may be a bit manky round the edges but the taste isn’t too bad, certainly not enough to throw away.  It is only when there is more concern of greater harm than good do we throw away. So how can we use the same guide for our relationships. In the beginning it all looks good, feels good and tastes good.  The attraction is there, nice packaging,…

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Is it ok to be a people pleaser?

Is it ok to be a people pleaser?

I was recently talking to a friend about her relationship with her husband.  She said she knows how to keep him sweet.  She praises him (even when she’s angry).  She doesn’t ask him to help her in the house because she knows that upsets him.  When he does things that she does not agree with she keeps her mouth shut.  She does not want to rock the boat by  upsetting him.  I asked her why?  What stops her from being honest and this is what she told me. “I want a quiet life.   I let things go because I…

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How to talk to your children about divorce

How to talk to your children about divorce

Can you imagine being a child in the middle of a divorce.  It is a confusing and upsetting time for all concerned and as caring parents the more you can do to help your kids through this difficult time the better. No two people go into marriage with the expectation that it won’t last and of course where children are concerned this is doubly upsetting.  Even if you were the one that chose to divorce it is still a difficult decision to make.  When a marriage breaks down its all too easy to apportion blame.  In reality with two of…

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