What is Passive Aggressive Behaviour?

What is Passive Aggressive Behaviour?

Passive aggressive behaviour takes many forms but can generally be described as a non-verbal aggression that manifests in negative behaviour. It is where you are angry with someone but do not or cannot tell them. Instead of communicating honestly when you feel upset, annoyed, irritated or disappointed you may instead bottle the feelings up, shut off verbally, give angry looks, make obvious changes in behaviour, be obstructive, sulky or put up a stone wall. It may also involve indirectly resisting requests from others by evading or creating confusion around the issue. Not going along with things. It can either be…

Read more

Being a parent: 360 degree feedback

Being a parent: 360 degree feedback

Being a parent is a wonderful gift but can also be challenging and demanding.  Have you ever asked your kids how they think you are doing as a parent. A friend of mine Kay recently asked her 15 year old daughter how she was doing as a mother and was interested to hear the response.     She was told she shouts  and waves her arms about a lot.  She wakes up every day moaning how busy she is but seems to spend a lot of time watching catch up TV.   At first Kay was surprised to hear this.…

Read more

What is projection? A basic guide.

What is projection?  A basic guide.

A friend recently asked me to clarify what projection meant.  She was having relationship problems with her husband and feeling confused about her own feelings and the conversations between them. He would regularly tell her she was rubbish at her job.  In fact she was very successful and doing well at work.  He on the other hand was frequently out of work for various reasons including falling out with senior managers and not following instructions properly.  He would also accuse her of being selfish despite the fact that she was the main breadwinner during the marriage as well as taking…

Read more

Choosing a university course. Do parents know best?

Choosing a university course. Do parents know best?

Choosing a course to study at university is a big decision these days.  Especially now the fees are so high and jobs are not so easy to find.  Some teenagers are very clear about what they want to study.  They know what they love and they can already see themselves as a teacher, an engineer or a doctor.  For others it is quite confusing. Most parents mean well in trying to help but it is important to let your teenager follow their own dreams and aspirations. Recently I have been hearing a similar story in my therapy room. “I listened…

Read more

Is it ok to be a people pleaser?

Is it ok to be a people pleaser?

I was recently talking to a friend about her relationship with her husband.  She said she knows how to keep him sweet.  She praises him (even when she’s angry).  She doesn’t ask him to help her in the house because she knows that upsets him.  When he does things that she does not agree with she keeps her mouth shut.  She does not want to rock the boat by  upsetting him.  I asked her why?  What stops her from being honest and this is what she told me. “I want a quiet life.   I let things go because I…

Read more

How to talk to your children about divorce

How to talk to your children about divorce

Can you imagine being a child in the middle of a divorce.  It is a confusing and upsetting time for all concerned and as caring parents the more you can do to help your kids through this difficult time the better. No two people go into marriage with the expectation that it won’t last and of course where children are concerned this is doubly upsetting.  Even if you were the one that chose to divorce it is still a difficult decision to make.  When a marriage breaks down its all too easy to apportion blame.  In reality with two of…

Read more

Confused.com

Confused.com

Are you feeling confused?  Do you have tangled thoughts, mind racing, mixed messages and bad communications. When communication is unclear this can result in confusion.  How many times have your listened to instructions and half way through them got lost in language.  People have different ways of expressing themselves.  Some get to the point very quickly whilst others talk around the houses and waffle a bit.   Others just don’t bother to give time or eye contact.  Sounding familiar? To avoid confusion think about the following: Make your own communication crystal clear and if appropriate follow up by an email…

Read more

Sorry seems to be the hardest word

Sorry seems to be the hardest word

Do you find it difficult to say sorry?   Or perhaps you wait patiently and longingly to hear that word.  The power of an apology can make a huge difference in relationships between people.  But as Elton John so beautifully sang “Sorry seems to be the hardest word”. There are times when we don’t get it right.  We are moody, miserable or angry and we might take that out on someone we love, or anyone that happens to be in our way.  If we feel vulnerable we might attack other people or blame them unnecessarily.  These actions are unfair and…

Read more