Andrea Harrn Counselling Services

Brexit – shall I divorce him?

Brexit divorce

Brexit – a psychological perspective

Brexit is a breaking apart, a splitting up of a relationship which has been together for over 40 years.  Like any long term relationship there have been ups and downs, periods of unhappiness and discontent, arguments and conflict.  Separation is no easy matter NOR is staying together.  The reasons we got together in the first place have been forgotten over the mists of time.  Now I feel quite differently towards you and your ever extending family.  In fact it feels like I’ve lost control of most of the household decisions and the finances.  All my requests seem to be unheard or I have to wait to get approval from “I don’t know who”.

On the other hand being apart from you fills me with dread.  I don’t know if or how I will cope.  Friends and relatives have said they will support me, in fact lots of them are telling me to ditch you and get on with my life.  Its not that easy.  I still care about you, even love you.  The fact that we are different has always fascinated me.   I love the different recipes you cook and the way you wear your clothes.  You are far more stylish than I will ever be.  I know you love my Britishness too.  The Sunday roasts and the fish and chips.  We both care about our children and about the society we live in.  We both have respect for humanity and living morally good lives.  In fact we have more in common than apart.

So where did it all go wrong?  

I do not feel I have a say in this relationship.  You have assured me I do and that my thoughts and opinions do matter.

I feel you are inviting your relatives and their friends over a little too often, and to stay over.  I feel like I can’t cope anymore.  You have told me to be more open with hospitality and there is enough food to go round the table.  You have also assured me there will be changes but I’m not sure I believe you.

If I want to have other friendships or business partners you don’t like.  You can’t control who I see and who I do business with.  You said that its important not to betray you or break the boundaries of our relationship.

I like to grow my vegetables, not use pesticides and the fact they come out in all shapes and sizes.  You seem to have OCD about the size and shape of everything I grow.  The list goes on in the way you want to control things.  You have told me there are good reasons but I can’t see them.

Is it that bad?

Not really.  We eat, we sleep, we walk, we talk.   When the sun shines I live in the moment and so do you.  I love the UK and I love Europe.  There is so much to be happy and grateful about.  We both love travelling and enjoying new experiences.  We both welcome the opportunity for new experiences and to talk to new people, appreciating there is so much to learn from other cultures.  I like living in a multicultural society and so do you.  By the way some of your friends and relatives are really hardworking and have helped me fix up my house, build the extension and given me business advice.

Can it be fixed?

I hope it can because I’d rather be with you than apart from you.  I just want you to know this one thing.  You can’t control me, so stop trying.  I will always stick up for myself and fight for my rights and I appreciate that you do listen, even if you don’t agree.

So, lets make up rather than break up.

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