Tribute to Chester Bennington

Tribute to Chester Bennington

The first I knew of Linkin Park came blaring down from my son’s bedroom around 15 years ago.  I LOVED the sounds but never really listened to the words.  Just over a month ago  I heard about the suicide of the frontman Chester Bennington at 41 years old.  I wanted to know more about him and why he would take his own life.  I started by listening properly to the lyrics and I woke up to this man and his life.  It resonated with the SO many clients I have worked with over the years who have been through difficult childhoods and sexual abuse. Bennington, in…

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5 ways to recognise a control freak

5 ways to recognise a control freak

The control freak needs order in their lives and to achieve this regularly behaves in ways that are  annoying, belittling and frustrating to others.  Take the boss who micro-manages everything you do, the wife who needs the house arranged in a certain way or the boyfriend who likes you to dress to please him.  Can you imagine having to dance to someone else’s call. The control freak is insecure and to boost their sense of security attempts to keep things safe and structured by modelling the world around them into their view. To do this they pull your strings which doesn’t leave much…

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Three girls – who is responsible?

Three girls – who is responsible?

Did you watch the recent TV series Three Girls about the scandal in Rochdale involving under age girls being trafficked and sexually abused.  It was quite shocking actually but the thing that upset me the most, and has been playing on my mind since, is what happened to cause those girls to end up where they did. The girls found comfort in the local kebab shop, where they were fed and given a place to play, jump around and be children.  They felt cared for, looked after and safe.  This was before it all started to go wrong, when the men…

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Why healers find it hard to give up on passive aggressive narcissists?

Why healers find it hard to give up on passive aggressive narcissists?

When passive aggressive narcissists form relationships with healers or empaths this can be a highly charged emotional dance.  They will be naturally drawn to each other.  One feels deeply, is intuitive and a natural fixer whilst the other is unemotional, insecure and volatile and seems to need fixing.  By the way not all passive aggressives are narcissists whereas most narcissists are passive aggressive. So when things go wrong and the healer is faced with emotional abuse, physical abuse, verbal abuse and mental abuse why don’t they just walk away and find someone else to save?  Here are some reasons why: Love conquers all Healers…

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6 steps to deal with a control freak

6 steps to deal with a control freak

If the control freak in your life is your mother you should be an expert by now in how to be in control.  After all you’ve lived with a control freak your whole life.  You might even have an honours degree in the subject.  However in reality you may very well still be struggling, perhaps not with your mother, but how about the controlling boss, the client or the ex-husband.  If you were controlled and manipulated as a child then its no surprise that others might pick up on that and take the mantle. Here are six ways to take back…

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What is the mindset blueprint?

What is the mindset blueprint?

The mindset blueprint Have you heard about the mindset blueprint?  It is all about reprogramming the mind to reach your goals. In order to be successful in the business world you need 20% skill and 80% mindset.  Mindset is the number 1 thing that needs to be worked on.  You can have all the skills in the world but if your attitude is wrong you are not going far.  I came across this concept at a recent motivational talk given by Jo Bioletti, who started her first business at 21 and is now a professional network marketer.  Jo talked about following a cycle of behaviour…

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What are personal boundaries and why are they important?

What are personal boundaries and why are they important?

Personal boundaries, you’ve heard about them but what are they?  A boundary is a dividing line, a border, a partition that separates one person from another.  From a psychological perspective it can apply to emotions, physical space, material space, mental awareness, sexuality and spirituality. This post is going to focus on the emotional aspect of boundaries.  In particular the personal energetic boundaries that are needed when people are feeling vulnerable, abused, walked over, talked over and generally weakened by the presence of another human being. That other someone is often the closest in terms of a partner, parent, friend or boss.…

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5 reasons to stay with your PA partner – for better or worse

5 reasons to stay with your PA partner – for better or worse

For better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and in health.  How seriously do you take your marriage vows?  At what point would you say “enough is enough” and walk away.  There is a time in life when you have to seriously consider what you are doing and why you are doing it. You have probably spent many years going through the same repetitive cycles with your partner.  Good times, beautiful times and happy times followed by dark days, confusion, misery and abuse.  The thought of leaving has crossed your mind many times, yet you are still there. Here…

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5 tips for self-preservation if you are in a toxic relationship

5 tips for self-preservation if you are in a toxic relationship

Self-preservation is vital when you feel you are drowning in someone else’s toxicity.  Here are 5 tips to help you stay sane: 1  The Art of non-reaction From the profound wisdom of Ashtavakra: Be an observer of what is happening inside yourself to find freedom from the pain of outside influences.  There is no moral value attached to this and it does not mean you are afraid to act.  Have awareness of yourself only and do NOT derive your value from the actions of others.  This applies to positive actions  as well as negative ones.  Be YOURSELF.  Do not depend on…

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What is the most emotionally painful behaviour of a PA?

What is the most emotionally painful behaviour of a PA?

It is emotionally painful when you are a partner of a passive aggressive.  They are angry at you and the way they show it can be very hurtful.  You have upset them in some way and you probably know where it started.  It is also likely to be an occasion when you opened up emotionally and they couldn’t handle it.  Passive aggressives find it very hard to get into their own emotions, let alone yours. Some of the responses you have probably experienced are avoiding discussions, pretending they can’t hear you or going out and not saying where.  All of these responses…

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