Andrea Harrn Counselling Services

5 tips for self-preservation if you are in a toxic relationship

self preservation

self-preservation = meditation

Self-preservation is vital when you feel you are drowning in someone else’s toxicity.  Here are 5 tips to help you stay sane:

1  The Art of non-reaction

From the profound wisdom of Ashtavakra: Be an observer of what is happening inside yourself to find freedom from the pain of outside influences.  There is no moral value attached to this and it does not mean you are afraid to act.  Have awareness of yourself only and do NOT derive your value from the actions of others.  This applies to positive actions  as well as negative ones.  Be YOURSELF.  Do not depend on being liked or disliked.

2   Create a strong boundary around yourself

Make a decision that you will no longer be the punch bag for someone else’s anger.  Creating a strong boundary will protect you physically and emotionally.  Visualise yourself surrounded by a beautiful golden egg or white light.  Do not visualise an impenetrable wall because this will close you off to other people who will be able to nurture and support you.  Powerful visualisations stop unconscious attacks that form deep wounds within you.  It is vital to protect yourself so you can stay strong. If you’ve never done this kind of energy work before then seek out an energy healer to help you or contact me direct.


3   Write things down

Sometimes you might feel you are going crazy.  What you thought had happened is no longer clear.  You may be blaming yourself even though you were so sure just a few days ago.  Write down what happened.  Make it clear to yourself.

4   Speak to friends and family

When things are really bad in your relationship you may feel embarrassed and ashamed to talk about it.  Your partner probably come across very different to other people so you may think they will not believe you.  Family often want to sort things out, keep people together, mediate – this is because they love you and believe that staying together is the best option.  Lets face it when people separate this has a knock on effect for those that are close to us.

Friends and family that love you will genuinely support you when they know the truth.  Seek them out and start to talk.  This may help you to gain clarity and strength about the way forward.

5    Try meditation for self-preservation

Mindfulness meditation is a great way manage worries, thoughts, anxieties and fears.  By connecting to the present moment your whole body will benefit.  In a mindful way you can notice the discomforts  you feel and you will KNOW that they are manageable.  A feeling cannot hurt you.  Neither can a thought.

Try and find a class or listen to a meditation tape.

To break free of passive aggressive behaviour patterns and live a peaceful life CLICK HERE

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