How to ride the emotional roller coaster

How to ride the emotional roller coaster

The emotional roller coaster can be both exciting and scary.  The highs and lows and the bits in between when you are going round and round in circles can make you feel dazed and confused. boarding the emotional carriage You don’t need to board because you are already onboard and have been for many years.  Sometimes you wonder why you don’t just jump off and start again.  When peace prevails the view looks good.  You are making plans together, looking ahead and your partner seems to be listening to you.  You want to praise them for the things they do well.…

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How silent treatment is used as a defence

How silent treatment is used as a defence

Being on the other side of a silent wall can be extremely hurtful, especially if you are a sensitive type.  Silent anger can feel like a dagger into your heart or a knife into your soul.  When you try to talk or break the silence and you are met with the back of someone’s head or a blank stare this eats into your own feelings of self-worth.  It is so upsetting and confusing that it’s hard to know what do to. Being silent as a form of defence People that feel unable to communicate on an emotional level can feel safe behind a wall of…

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What are the main theories of emotion relevant today

What are the main theories of emotion relevant today

There are many theories about emotion going back hundreds of years.   They have been grouped into categories, sub-categories and numerous lists.  Some of the main theories can still be useful today. Many psychologists identify the basic/prime emotions to be anger, fear, disgust, happiness, rage, love and sadness.  Emotion is defined as a strong feeling deriving from one’s circumstances, mood, or relationships with others instinctive or intuitive feeling as distinguished from reasoning or knowledge According to the Oxford Dictionary the word emotion derives from Mid 16th century, denoting a public disturbance:  from French émotion, from émouvoir excite, based on Latin emovere, from e- (variant…

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How to reveal the power games in passive aggression

How to reveal the power games in passive aggression

The power games of passive aggressive relationships can sometimes make you forget the past.  Your partner has managed to get you back on side and you are in an almost blissful state of happiness.  Your relationship is back on track.  They cannot do enough for you and you want to believe it will last.  However, something inside you doesn’t allow you to relax.  It’s an intuitive voice based on past experiences and it will not go away.  It feels like your partner holds the power and YOUR behaviour might just change things.  What are the power games being played? Manipulation In general…

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3 links between narcissistic and passive aggressive behaviours

3 links between narcissistic and passive aggressive behaviours

The narcissist is far from passive in their aggression although many moments of quiet planning will precede the onslaught.  I have experienced both narcissists and passive aggressives in my own life and professionally and identify three links. The Fragile Ego The ego is a person’s sense of themselves, their importance, their value and self-worth. It develops in infancy and its role is self-preservation.  In psychoanalytic terms the ego is the conscious sense of identity with an existence of an conscious/unconscious superego to represent conscience and morals (Freud). Who we are and how we behave is very much influenced by upbringing.  When a child…

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